Cockroaches, Ants (marching) and Crabs

Cockroaches, Ants (marching), and Crabs

Who needs pets when you have these friends?

When I would convince Bryan to have lunch with me in the Loop, back when we were in Chicago, he said it gave him the creeps. The thought of "ants marching" came to mind often for him. Though I agree with him to extent - there was a palatable air of misery on the El on a Monday morning - I am now dealing with my own version of ants marching in my new occupation, housewife. This time it's in the literal sense.

We live in a 500 square foot apartment with a lot of critters. In fact, I just caught a crab that wandered in through our front door. (Sidenote: after some trial and error I figured out the best way to catch a crab is with tupperware. The lid makes a nice scoop to help the crab in the main tub. Then you also have the top to keep him in.) Or sometimes I just let the crabs wander. I was bathing Neyla last night and gave her a toy crab to play with, meanwhile a (real live) crab had crawled up the drain and was sitting right next to us. I thought about throwing him in the tub but decided against it. That's the thing about Majuro, Neyla gets to do things that most kids have to imagine or simulate with toys, for better or worse.

This morning Neyla decided to pet a gecko at the base of our bed, not knowing that it was a living, breathing and, most importantly, moving animal. When she reached for it, it didn't move, but once she touched it it started wiggling away. Neyla is still learning how to pat gently so she poked the poor guy. As soon as it started moving, she looked at me and began to wail. I picked her up and explained to her what it was. I'm not sure if she understood, but she's getting better about words. She can now say "shoes" and "outside" really well. Both of those words, of course, get her closer to her one year old self's goal of playing outside at every possible moment. I'm anxiously waiting for her to want to pet a hermit crab which won't end as nicely as the gecko, I suspect. You can find those in droves just outside our apartment.

If you stare at one spot in our apartment long enough, you'll find an ant. They're everywhere. They're annoying to me, but most people here don't mind them. The most optimistic opinion I've heard about the ants here is that "At least you know where you haven't cleaned." Bryan looks at me like I'm crazy when I say, "Die ants!" then proceed to smack them with my flip flop. If reincarnation and karma exist, I'm most definitely coming back as an ant. 

My craziest critter story is actually Bryan's most heroic moment. I was lazily snuggling with Neyla at night on our bed, chatting with Bryan. I'm not sure what we were chatting about but it went down something like this:

Me: "... and then Neyla walked not once but twice today! Ten steps total, I bet."

Bryan: "uh, huh."

Me: "I'm pretty sure she said mama today, or maybe was just humming..."

SMACK!

While mid-conversation, Bryan got up from the bed, grabbed his flip flop (best bug killer tool ever) and killed a cockroach right above my head. I jumped a mile high, Neyla started bawling and I asked him what the heck was he doing! You don't want to know, was his reply. I knew right then it was a cockroach, my biggest critter foe. Bryan had killed him right by my head on the wall above our bed. I don't think I've ever loved Bryan more.

Cockroaches are the grossest creature on the planet. Here is why. I almost always see them out at night in the dark, which makes them the most vampire-like of all insects. Their antenna would be comically long for their body if it wasn't so creepy long. They move at the speed of light or maybe just sound I'm not sure but either way it's impossibly fast. The Orchan commercials with the cockroach close up has not helped the cockroach PR. It's a disease bag. Before they die, they lie face up as a final F you so you have to stare at their beyond disgusting underside. Pretty sure they have 65 legs. I have to smack them with my flip flop (turned weapon) at least 3 times before they die.

So to sum up:

Gecko (so adorable! and they eat ants)

Crabs (interesting and cute if small)

Ants (annoying)

Cockroaches (the worst)

And those are just a few of the critters in our apartment. Tune in for more critter info and Neyla info on "Life in the Marshall Islands" with Janae Rusin. I've got a lot of time now that I'm not teaching Algebra anymore.