Remembering when I was my student's age...

      I’m not that old, but I’m starting to realize just how old I am.  When I first started teaching I realized that all of my students were born after the Cold War had ended.  Therefore, they couldn't understand living through that time, even though I lived through very little of it, I remember it well.  But today, my students have all been born after 9-11 and do not have any memory of that defining event…  Things are getting stranger for me as I get older, it’s harder to relate to my students.  They are 13 year old kids with smartphones and Facebook and I still don’t get Twitter.  When I was 13 I’d yet to have even heard of email…  When I think of what I was like when I was their age and what my world was like, really 3 movies come to mind.

Growing up in the 1980’s and 90’s was interesting.  I am now amazed by what I assumed growing up.  Especially when it comes to what I thought was so great about my country and the world.  I remember the pride surrounding the Olympics.  I used to love watching the Olympics, especially when it was us vs. the Russians!  I’m thinking Rocky IV here.  Those were the days.  No matter what sport it was, no matter if it were the summer or the winter games, it was amazing seeing the freedom loving Americans compete against the brain-washed machine like athletes of the communist world.  Rocky represented everything great about America and Ivan Drago represented everything that was wrong with the USSR.  And at the end of that magnificent movie Rocky won, no not just Rocky, but America.  Our culture, our way of life, was shown to be more magnanimous and clearly more human than the defeated robots unthinkingly cheering for the mechanized Drago.  What a great film!  Little did how know how much was over-looked by this convenient way of seeing the world and particularly the US’s role in it.

In all honesty, I never saw Rocky IV until the 90’s, after the Cold War had ended, but it still made me feel glad that I was on the side that won.  One movie I did see as a young boy was only the greatest movie ever, Top Gun.  “I feel the need, the need for speed!”  I can actually quote every line of the film and have unquestionably seen that particular film more than any other.  As a young 7 year old boy, this film made me want to be a pilot.  No that’s not true, I wanted to be a Naval Aviator.  I don’t remember saying this, but my mom says I did… after I first saw the film and told my mom of my desire to join the Navy and become a fighter pilot, she said, “But son, you could die like Goose did.”  Upon that, I gazed at my mom and as serious as a 7 year old boy can be said, “Mom, if I have to die for my country that is ok.”  I was captured by the sensationalism of the film and the amazing Kenny Loggins music.  It was a highway to a danger zone that I wanted to take.  Again, however, so much of the story was missing.

As I moved into middle school I remember studying history and always studying wars, especially World War 2, which my grandfather fought in.  I remember being so relieved, that “we” won the war and good prevailed.  I remember thinking, what would happen if the bad guys actually won?  That thought terrified me, and I assumed everyone shared the same sentiment.  I remember thinking how great of a world we lived in and that war was over, forever!  Those things that I learned about in history class were so far removed the world that I now lived in.  America had won and the world was better for it.  The world I lived in consisted of boring days at a Catholic school, baseball, Disney World and ice cream.  What could be better than that?  War would never happen, could never happen in this world that I lived in.  America had won and would continue to win and all was good. 

CNN footage of the Gulf War. 

I don’t remember how old I was when I first heard of Saddam Hussein, but I must have been about 10.  America was at War again.  Operation Desert Storm.  However, it was explained to me that this was nothing like WW2.  This was a big powerful country sticking up for a little country (Kuwait) who was being bullied by a big one (Iraq).  This made me feel good.  WE were standing up for the little guy against the big bully.  To my 10 year old brain, this made sense.  I didn't need nuance or explanation, it furthered my idea that America was good.  I remember watching this on TV.  A dark screen with the lights of Baghdad in the background and explosions throughout the city.  The “war” seemed to be over very quickly, and now we were only defending a seemingly defenseless people.  Again, I liked that.  It made sense to me.  We always do that.  That was the narrative that I was told about WW1 and WW2 also.  We saved Europe and the “civilized world” not once, but twice from losing to the Germans.  But, I was still confused.  We were now friendly with Germany, how’d that happen?  The big bad bully got to keep his power after the Gulf War, why?  If he really is a big bad bully, shouldn't he be in jail and not the leader of a country?  As I got older, I got more and more confused about these things.

Fast Forward to when I was 14 years old, about the age of my current students.  I had a life changing moment.  I saw Forrest Gump.  I recall that I had nothing to do on a Friday evening and my parents were going to see it, so I tagged along to a movie of which I had no idea what it was.  I learned so much from that movie.  I learned about the 60’s, was introduced to some of the greatest music ever and discovered the importance of being who you are.  Forrest is always just Forrest, he’s never ever trying to be anyone else.  He loves himself and stands up for what his mother taught him.  Jenny on the other hand was searching.  She had lost who Jenny was, it was taken from her at a young age.  The abuse she suffered made her search in every dark corner of the world for Jenny, without ever realizing that happiness stood right in front of her the whole time in a simple loving man. It brought out in me emotions that I never knew I had, it turned a switch on inside of me.  It made me ask more questions. 

Gov. Wallace blocking entrance to the University of Alabama. 

The two issues from Forrest Gump that I really remember thinking about were racially inequality and the Vietnam War.  I knew Forrest Gump was a fictional story and so I partly dismissed the part about the University of Alabama and Governor George Wallace not allowing African American students just 30 short years ago.  I kept asking questions and realized that in fact, this was true.  I was shocked!  In America this happened?  In my parent’s lifetime?  That was the first crack in the mirror for me.  I remember thinking that a black man my dad’s age wouldn’t have been allowed to go to many schools in the South.  This astonished me.  But I also remember thinking, well look how far we have come, nothing like that happens today.  So while that was sad and tragic, America has made up for its sins and is now the “home of the free” and a country based upon equality. 

However, my questions were not answered fully yet.  What about this Vietnam War?  What’s up with that?  You mean, we have fought a war since WW2?  Why Vietnam?  Where is that?  That’s not a real country, is it?  The answer I first got was convenient as it fit right into my paradigm.  Vietnam was a country being taken over by Communists, and we went there to help them.  Oh, that makes sense.  Again, we’re helping, aren't we nice.  But quickly, the answers flooded in.